The Cost of success

No one remembers the name of the guy who comes second- First is all that counts. Yeah that seems to be true. We live in a world where all eyes are on the guy who ends up on top, and all minds aiming for that. But then again, it makes one ponder - what exactly is success? who is successful? How do they get there?

Someone with a big house, fleet of cars, private jet, and all the money in the world? Someone who is the best in the world at the job he does? A guy that goes abroad and makes millions of dollars and settles down there? Or a small time government worker with a stable job, assured pension, and government quarters? Which of these would you pick as the ideal success story? Who would be your definition of a successful man?

The truth is- a successful person is one who dreams, who dreams of living the life HE wants, the way HE wants, and who actually does it.

Ever since we are kids, we are brought up with lectures/ endless lessons on what to do, what not to do in life. But isn't life all about being happy, savoring each moment, spending time with the dear ones, and satisfying all their needs? Well I guess that is how everyone defines success initially as little kids. But it might not be enough, or a task that easily accomplished. Our parents know it, hence kids are pushed ever since they open their eyes to the world, pushed to compete, compete and get into a good kindergarten. If they perform well they are greeted with applause, otherwise its just dejection and gloom they see on their parents’ faces. The kid himself is indifferent, but the reactions paint a pretty good picture.

Slowly over the years, the kid is molded, through various such competitions where in he is always expected to be at the top. Well why not? Every one wants him to be successful in life. The once indifferent kid now becomes the eager competitor, dying for a win, because hey- that’s what everyone seems to want ever since he was born. Marks start meaning much more than the learning that they are supposed to portray. Knowledge takes second or even third priority after marks and rank in class.

He is then told over and over again that all that is needed to be successful in life is to get into the best college. And how do you do that? You compete. You slog yourself for two years with the hope that you will get a good score, and a good college. The boy of merely 14 works, studies day and night, not playing, not living, just studying for two years so that he gets a good score.

Surprise surprise! Our hero has saved the day. And there he is in the best of the best colleges, the Ivy League stuff, and everyone’s dream! Hardly does he settle in, before he is told that he is expected to pass out with a good relative grade, and a good package. Well after all that's what’ll make him successful isn't it?

He then studies, slogs for 4 more years to stay at the cream of the lot. To be the best. All this while just studying, not playing, not living, just studying.

No surprise he lands a great job. Yeah yeah its a package much higher than anyone else that people can compare him to. THAT should be the moment right? The moment of reckoning where his life is all set. But he’s just joined as a trainee or something. He has a long way to the top of the company. So what does he do? He works, day after day, year after year, he works. Until one day he gets there. Right on top. But now that he is there, and he has achieved all that was expected, that was needed, will the guy call himself successful?

Well he definitely will very keenly observe on that day, as his whole life passes in front of him. It doesn't take too long though, all it has is him studying, or working, or doing something that everyone wants him to do, being what everyone wants him to be, he sees himself living the dream- But someone else’s dream..

That day it’ll dawn on him that success is perhaps the most personal, and individual thing a man can define. Deep in his heart, in a part not encroached by the pressure of worldly rat races and competitions, there is a desire, a desire to live a free life, free to choose to do what you want. But the voices around are so loud that this tiny spark gets extinguished even before it lights up. People think success and happiness go hand in hand. But there are countless cases of people who have it all, but are not happy, not at rest.

But happiness, well its a different story altogether- Happiness if achieved, protected, revered, and maintained lifelong will leave no need, or scope for success or regret.

The richest and more powerful of people may be unsatisfied, unhappy and not at peace with themselves, while the most common of the lot might be revelling in all the good things that life has to offer. People think when they look at the bigger picture they look at where they get to in life. The bigger picture is life itself, and HOW you live it. Not where, or in pursuit of what. HOW.

A person might have a small dream, a wish to give his family three square meals a day and keep them comfortable. If he works, earns, comes home and spends time with them, he may well be proclaimed far more successful in life than others. I am in no way suggesting that we must not dream big. All I say is that we should have our own dreams which will define our happiness, and the ultimate goal in life should be to live a happy and good life where you cherish each moment. When you look back, it should always be with a smile on your face, and absolutely no regrets in your heart, and with memories of the good times you spent living life. That will be success.

A Wise man had once said:

If you dream someone else’s dream, think someone else’s thoughts, you will soon need all their wants, and you will then have lost your own self. Because you will also live someone else’s life, not yours